So heres the deal, I know I said I was no longer going to rant on my blog, well, I lied. Who am I kidding, I am a ranter, I get myself all riled up and I have to get it out! So please let me tell you about my joyous day!
This morning we woke up early (as usual). I have been sleeping on the couch because I am painting my room. Got the kids dressed and fed and was preparing to headout to check out some garage sales. I smelt poop, figured one of the kids pooped or farted. I ignored it at the time because I was busy, thought I would change them before we left. Ethan was playing with this trains and Wyatt was stnading with the paint tins. Everything seemed as it should.
But the poop smell just got stronger and stronger, I looked around, didn't see poop, I saw Wyatt army crawling his way to the pantry so I followed him so I could grab him before he made it. That is when I saw it. Poop SMEARED from one side of the kitchen to the other. I look over at Fabian and he is cleaning his boy cat parts in a non-discrete way. Wyatt had just slide his way through the poop and was leaving a poop train behind him. So I quickly grabbed Wyatt as I was dry heaving and ripped the clothes off of him and washed him down completely. I snagged Fabian and looked for the problem. Ahh yes just as I suspected, poop stuck in his long white fur. Completely nasty. So I took a diaper wipe (traditionally used on infants and toddlers butts) and wiped the CATS FREAKING butt. But Fabian had some fight in him, Hair was flying everywhere, nails were out and he was meowing. He got away before I could get it all. THen I cleaned the floor. Of course Ethan has an obsession with cleaning so he was attemping to help clean the poop and was having a tantrum because I wouldn't let him help.
I went upstairs to get Wyatt a change of clothes, and OH JOY, at the top of the stairs what do I see, THATs right! POOP on the carpet. So back downstairs I go to get a cloth to clean up poop. As I am cleaning the poop I am gagging oh and then I puked a little, but not to worry I was already cleaning up poop, may as well clean up puke too!
Finally we are all cleaned up and ready to go, get the kids in the car and head out. Half way up the street I realize that I should probably have gone and checked the basement to see if there was poop smeared everywhere down there, so we turn around, both kids screaming. THANKFULLY there was no poop in the basement.
We did a little garage saleing then we had to go to Walmart. OH dear, what an adventure. First, it was Walmarts anniversary sale, great deals to be had but oh what dirtbags a sale produces. We get in the cart, Ethan won't sit down, freaking out. He sees a box of smarties and is then FIXATED on me buying him a box of smarties, will not stop screaming for smarties (Mom I blame you for this). We get what we need, make our way through the crowds of people to the tills. I chose to do the self-checkout so I didn't need to pretend to be happy to a teller. Of course it only accepted cash or debit. So I thought that I would use debit. Tried my password three times, didn't work, DECLINED. So lets lay this out, two kids screaming in the cart, no socks on, my debit card got DECLINED, boy did I feel like an ALL star Walmart shopper. I threw everything back in the cart and whizzed over to the next lane. GOt Ethan smarties just to shut him up (maybe this was a bad idea but I was sick of listening to him). Head back to the Van, apparently the automatic door wasn't working, one side opened and the kids slammed into the other side which wasn't working. Get to the van, look at my receipt. The genious teller charged me twice for a $20 item. ARGGGHHHHH
Throw the kids back into the cart and steam back into Walmart. I was ready for a fight (thinking they were going to give me a Walmart gift card and not my money).But thankfully that went smoothly. Get the kids back into the car, give Ethan his smarties and drive home.
It is 1:00 in the afternoon, bother kids are sleeping and I am completely DONE. Still have to steam the poop out of the damn carpet!
