The fresh smell of poop

Ok so i admit it, last night, for the first time in a long time I had a few margaritas. I had friends over and actually enjoyed my night. It was hot. The house was a flapping' sauna. So by the time I went to bed I was sweating. For some reason (well actually not for some reason, because I live out of my car) all of my pyjama pants were in the car and I was MUCH too lazy to go and get them so I slept in my underwear.  (I'm painting you a picture, I am actually going somewhere with this).

Exhausted and sleeping, 7 am comes. I hear this little voice from the bathroom. 'Mom, when I was peeing some poop came out'. I roll over and tell him(Wyatt) that sometimes that happens. Assuming he can deal with this issue himself I go back to sleep. 2 minutes later, 'Mom, there is poop on my foot and some on the floor'. I grumble and roll out of bed. Staggering to the bathroom in just my underwear and no glasses I come across Wyatt in the bathroom. I was hit with an overwhelming smell of poop. I look down and see Wyatt, COVERED in poop, and no word of a lie, POOP everywhere.

The only thing I can think of is going back to sleep, I feel ill (and now even more sick and dry heaving in the bathroom).  I go back to my room and search for my glasses, they are nowhere to be found. The house stinks. I find my glasses. I wonder HOW on freaking earth did this happen and WHY today. Honestly, why today.  To spare you from the details, I clean Wyatt up and put him in the bath. ALL i want to do is go back to sleep, but what kind of parent would I be if I put my kid in the bath and then fell asleep. I wait for Wyatt to clean up. I go do a laundry. The house STINKS. I realize that SOMEHOW poop got on the carpet. This is perfect for selling a house. Poopstained carpet. PLEASE come buy our house. I clean up the carpet. STILL can't find any pants. WHERE are ALL my pants!

Finally everything is cleaned up. Wyatt, the bathroom, the carpet, my foot (yes I stepped in poop) and i'm ready to go back to bed. Well great, in the meantime Ethan has woken up and the boys are ready to play. I try to sleep through the playing, but they are playing superheros and apparently super hero YELL!

My morning, all before 7:30 am.